Homosexuality is NOT a GIFT. Its a Joke

Okay, we all know that Michael Jackson long to be a woman.

How can you not know that?
The long hair, the progesterone pills..
MAN!!
Now he's dead, it is my honour to leave him out of this post.
But after his death, I was browsing through a certain Kenny Sia, who incidentally is a well known blogger.
Best of all, he's from Malaysia.
There's something about him though that reminds me of the back alleys of shops at night.
He's a man, who loves to dress as a woman.
Nono!
I shit you not!
Its real!!!!




SEEE???
Am i lying now?






If you're reading this, Kenny, I assure you.
No one actually reads my blog.
Your reputation is still intact.
And I'm sorry for posting your "beautiful pictures" on my blog.
But d'you think you can escape after dressing in a lingerie?

Dude, take my advice.
Stop doing this or some American hippie will come and help you cut off your damn balls.
Then, you'll have to wear women lingerie. PERMANENTLY!
You will have to smooch guys too.
YEAH. Guys.



See?

You'll have to answer to these people too.





Seriously?
YES! seriously.

(I know he did it for fun. I couldn't resist and in case you think I did it because I'm a Kennysia.com hater. Think again. His blog is one of the two I linked)

A Tribute to the Bisexual Singer.

As all of you may know this already.

Michael Joseph Jackson, passed away peacefully on the 25th of June 2009.
Yes, the gay paedophile died.

No, I'm not mocking his sexual preference.
I'm just saying that so that little boys will come out of their hidey hole and cause some HULLABALOO!
They can come out to play again.
This time, no man will rub his dick on your face.



To be honest, I enjoyed his dancing and singing for it will never be done more expertly by another.
But if there's something about him that befuddles me, its why he did the plastic surgery.
Let me show you how he looks before the surgery.


Which woman in the world will run away from him?
Not a single one.

This is how he looks after the surgery.





Tell me now.
Which woman will not run from him?
Without being paid to stay of course.



Exactly.



Now, every human makes mistakes right?
Not the ones he makes..
Who the hell will dangle his own child on the balcony like this huh?


Only ones who's seriously affected by down syndrome.
He may have revolutionised music.
But! Who would want a role model like this?
Aren't celebrities supposed to do some good things and show the world what they can do?

Puberty

This is something me and my friends came up with after completing our exam papers and have too little things to do.
Hopefully, you, my readers, enjoy reading this.
There's many more to come.

Here goes...




Before it you are pretty honest,
After it, you grow a forest,
Before it you get excited at the florists,
After it you only want to see a clitoris.

Some get it early,
Some get it late,
Some end up slightly blurry
Others are already looking for a mate.

Some people have to wait,
You can't do anything coz its written in your fate.

Most guys get stronger,
And the lucky ones get longer,
Most girls get bustier,
The horny ones fuck harder!

What is the cause of the deadly curse?
The cause of birth control pills in her purse,
Why boys get from horny to worse?
And start racing to say " I fucked her first"!

What, you may ask just happened to me?
Did I hit my dick on a tree?
Is that why its length is times three?
No you idiot, its fucking puberty!

-Lep r'e corn

(I assure you, its not me)

Stupidity is Limitless, Lets Laugh at Stupid People!

A few days ago, I received an email about an essay written somewhere in Pluto.
Want to know why?
You won't get what the writer was trying to say.
Maybe he's just mocking the examinations or something.
But whatever he wrote, just mocked himself.
So disappointing to know that someone has been abusing the language to do something so oxygen wasting.

Lets not keep you waiting.
Keep this in mind.
I am NOT related to this idiot.



I hope you can read it.
Enjoy.
If you can't, try clicking on the essay.
Cheers

Scandalous List!

Comedy Central recently posted a list off 100 best comedians.
However, I would like to show you, my readers of how wrong is that list.
100. Gallagher
99. Janeane Garofalo
98. Louis C.K.
97. Sandra Bernhard
96. Joey Bishop
95. Andrew Dice Clay
94. David Alan Grier
93. George Wallace
92. Louie Anderson
91. Jim Breuer

---

90. Dana Carvey
89. Kevin James
88. Paula Poundstone
87. Brett Butler
86. Jay Mohr
85. David Cross
84. Drew Carey
83. Norm MacDonald
82. Howie Mandel
81. Dick Gregory

---

80. Bobby Slayton
79. Dom Irerra
78. Cedric The Entertainer
77. Paul Reiser
76. Robert Schimmel
75. Eddie Izzard
74. Paul Rodriguez
73. Elaine Boosler
72. Bernie Mac
71. Red Buttons

---

70. Wanda Sykes
69. Pat Cooper
68. Dave Attel
67. Kevin Pollack
66. Shelley Burman
65. Sinbad
64. Richard Belzer
63. Jackie Mason
62. Eddie Griffin
61. Bobcat Goldthwait

---

60. Jeff Foxworthy
59. Gilbert Gottfried
58. Larry Miller
57. Richard Jeni
56. Colin Quinn
55. Alan King
54. D.L. Hughley
53. David Brenner
52. Damon Wayans
51. Lewis Black

---

50. Denis Leary
49. Freddie Prinze
48. Tim Allen
47. Henny Youngman
46. Adam Sandler
45. Richard Lewis

---

44. Joan Rivers
43. Dave Chappelle
42. Flip Wilson
41. Jon Stewart

40. Mort Sahl
39. Billy Crystal
38. Bill Maher
37. Martin Lawrence
36. Jim Carrey
35. Phyllis Diller
34. Buddy Hackett
33. Andy Kaufman
32. Albert Brooks
31. George Burns

30. Garry Shandling
29. Milton Berle
28. Jack Benny
27. Jay Leno
26. Ray Romano
25. Bob Hope
24. Redd Foxx
23. Steven Wright
22. Robert Klein
21. Dennis Miller

20. Sam Kinison
19. Bill Hicks
18. Jonathan Winters
17. Don Rickles
16. Ellen Degeneres
15. David Letterman
14. Bob Newhart
13. Robin Williams
12. Jerry Seinfeld
11. Johnny Carson

10. Eddie Murphy
9. Roseanne Barr
8. Bill Cosby
7. Rodney Dangerfield
6. Steve Martin
5. Chris Rock
4. Woody Allen
3. Lenny Bruce
2. George Carlin
1. Richard Pryor

Now, is Eddie Murphy funnier than Adam Sandler?
No.
Is Woody Allen even funny at all?
NO.
Why is Ellen Degeneres even in the list?
You Comedy Central guys find it funny she can get a girlfriend?
And man, David Letterman?
HAHAHAHA
Is this list a joke by itself?
Where's Sacha Baron Cohen?
Or the comedian has to be at least 40 to qualify?
Where the fuck! is Russell Peters?
Any list of best comedians without him should not be considered legal.
Think about it.
People like Jim Carrey.
He makes you laugh like half the time.
Russell Peters?
You can never stop laughing.

ASSHOLES! :)

By the way, Adam Sandler is coming out with a new movie called "Funny Man".
Watch out for it.
The preview looks funny.
That's all from me today, I hope you enjoyed the post.
G-bye

The Beauty of Language

Being able to communicate in multiple languages is one of the few plus points of being a Malaysian.
I noticed something hilarious yesterday when i was attending a History tuition.
The class was told that "sai" means leader in Arabic.
Well, let me enlighten you Arabic people.
"sai" means SHIT in the Hokkien dialect.
So, do some research before calling your leader names.
I'm sure he'll appreciate it.
Unless he himself gave himself the name.




If you look something like this, please don't bomb my house.
Have mercy.
I know you bombed the World Trade Center and all.
Bombing my house wouldn't make any difference to the world.

"saidina" means our leader in Arabic.
Well, "saininia" would mean a slap in your face if you said it to anyone who understands the Hokkien dialect.
SEEE??
God gave us language to make everything look nasty.
To some, punani may be a tropical fruit.
To others, it is a "tropical fruit".(If you get what I mean)

Anyway, this is a view of how terrorist should be treated.



And this is a video of how "punani" is a tropical fruit.

The Valueble MONEY

Money money money...
No one can get enough of it nowadays.

A certain footballer in England (Michael Owen) who will play in the second division because he doesn't want to accept a 50k a week pay-as-you-play deal because its too little.
Why?
Cause he's a dickhead.
Sources claim that he aims to emulate his favourite player, Wagner Love to take up a part-time job as a pornstar.
But you have to know that Love have a exotic name.
Owen doesn't.
Love is black, he's not.(you get what i mean)

On a different note.
I recently received a mail about how men get their look.
Scientific theories nowadays keep getting wilder and wilder.
I will not keep you wondering about this theory anymore.
Here you go, ENJOY









WOW! Everyone's a dickhead now.
Michael, you're not alone.
(No insensitivity intended. If you are offended, I suggest you not to come back.)
(I would like to state that no dicks are injured during the taking of these pictures.)

Swine flu or A(H1N1)

A few days back, I received an email from one of my msn contact.(The name is not mentioned to avoid YOU calling that poor fella names.)
Anyway, this email I mentioned contains some adult content.
So, children that have not attended secondary school.
FUCK OFF!
See?? I care about the sensitivity of my readers.
Okay. D'you want to see the picture now?










AGREEMENT NOT NECESSARY







If you are feeling turned on right now, please...
Leave my blog, go visit your local vet.
Ask him for injection to treat rabies.
You need it.

You see, stupidity knows no boundaries.
So, try to avoid the kind of people who sends you the kind of email as seen above.
Sick things people does these days are limitless.
While everyone is worrying bout swine flu, this joker decided to hire some prostitute, put her in a pig suit, ask her to pose while her panties are halfway down her thigh. The thing this guy does for a laugh is sick.

(No pigs were harmed during the making of this entry. No Udhayans were harmed too)

Are you a real nerd?

A nerd is a common species of human normally found in places where there is not enough smoke to kill an ant

Most nerds display some common characteristics. If you display any of these characteristics, I suggest that you click the "x" button at the top right corner of this window.(Note: I'm using he, him, his as a universal term. I don't intend to hurt the feelings of anyone in particular. Just a whole bunch of nerds.)
Those characteristics are:
1) He wears a bigass specs.

2) He's got himself braces even though he has got perfectly straight teeth. Cause he claims that "it will ruin his image".3) He does not have enough space in his bag to breath.

4) He just left this page.

There are certain foolproof methods to get rid of nerds.
MOST of these methods work on MOST nerds.

1) You show him the universally loved finger.

2) You show him some part of your inner hair.

3) You say something wrong about a scientific fact ON PURPOSE. A nerd in nature cannot resist such mistake. Thus, the nerd will be repelled. You are now nerd free.

4) You just ask him to *%#% off! Most nerds cant stand these kind of vulgarity. And, most probably, next time he will start avoiding you.

5) You turn on a pornographic video in front of him. Most nerds are pornophobic, thus repelling the nerd.

6) Bring a companion of opposite sex to the nerd that you want to repel. Most nerds do not have the ability to communicate with a person of the opposite sex without suffering from high blood pressure.

Why is the nerd species dangerous for humans if they take over the world?

1. They aim to make everyone on earth to wear pants above the belly button.
2. They hate porn.
3. Borat will run out of business.
4. Comedy central will go bankrupt
5. American Pie will not be as funny
6. We must all wear covered clothes to the beach
7. There will be public libraries EVERYWHERE
8. Wearing a bigass specs will be made compulsory

See my dear reader?
If any of your relatives display any characteristics described above, I suggest you bring him to the best psychiatrist available and try to cure that poor thing.
Or else.....